I know it has been awhile since i have blogged and for that i am sorry .... Its not that I havent anything to say or think..I just dont want to over due you all .
The holidays are upon us and I am excited ,,Not as much as I should be,,, doing the best I can tho and I guess that is all that matters. The holidays used to be a big deal to me , looking forward to missing those few days before the break of school would start to take a trip to Hobbs, New Mexico. To grandmas:) I always enjoyed Christmas more ,we stayed longer had more fun and spent alot more family time together. Only other better trip then Summer vaction. Anyway.. it never failed my dad had to call his best friend and let him know we were coming although a phone call was never needed ,, we were never not there. I dont know what all the excitment was more of food,family, gifts(we had been hiding for months), Hunting ,Fun freezing in the snow, or fighting:) ... But i know for sure that the combo of all was the best feeling and most exting rush i have ever had laying in bed trying to sleep the weeks leading up to getting out of school and driving the short,but long three hours up there.Something about heading up to grandmas was amazing . There is nothing I loved more than spending time with her,dad,mom,brother Jason,aunt Kathy, and many more. Sitting here telling my story i can smell the wood burning stove feel that one of kind warmth the smell of the old but well built house the visual of everything the comfort of climbing into bed in grandmas room all nice and warm with that electric blanket .. that peace of mind and comfort makes me smile a smile so big not even the grinch could steal hahaha..I could go on on about it and may in a differnt post.... But now since dad is gone and grandma moved to Dallas and I feel very separated yet connected. My holidays just arent the same .. I am or was not ready for them to change for my life to be catapolted to a different life style. trying to combine christmas with two different familys and there ways are hard really hard My husband for some reason doesnt have the same exctiment as me and my family and i assume that is the differnce in growing up in different life styles and sad to say but since everyone has seemed to disapate just doesnt have the same feeling as it used to have .. I try to get excited enough for Sophia. Guess i need to just dig a little deeper....
Guess i have done enough whinning and I know this doesnt really have much to do with my blog butt.. It was on my mind and for some people that cant find this its safe and said.
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